3 STRATEGIES for Defending Yourself against Thieves and Psychopaths:
2 of these require attention and effort
1 of these is a system that requires NO energy, just minimal discipline
You have to rely on different 3 strategies for dealing with narcissists and psychopaths:
You need to appreciate the two of these are energy-expensive and subjective, and one of them is an energy-free objective system and therefore more reliable.
“What is the highest of all species of being, and what is the lowest? The parasite is the lowest species. He—however—who is of the highest species feedeth most parasites. Oh!—how could THE LOFTIEST SOUL fail to have the worst parasites?” Friedrich Nietzsche in Thus Spoke Zarathustra
In my previous article on this topic, I grouped psychopaths and narcissists into 3 main overlapping patterns of behavior—this article is included in its entirety below for supporting subscribers.
1. AVOIDANCE:
Look for them, identify them and then avoid them – the best way to avoid suffering with a narcissist or psychopath is to avoid any engagement. The limiting factor here is that this requires your precise attention, but it also requires that the psychopath/narcissist reveal himself or give you a clue. Sometimes and especially at the start, everything is so perfect that you’re never going to get a signal until you’ve already made some type of investment in time, emotions or money. Obviously you would never engage with anyone who shows you even a single red flag, but sometimes even normal people can show you a yellow flag mixed with green flags. You can have perfect awareness and the perfect checklist, but, if they don’t provide any signals, then this strategy has failed to protect you.
2. ESCAPE:
Once you start to feel uneasy or confused, that’s your signal that you should’ve already left and that you are now fully ensnared. Asking them to respect your boundaries is never going to work with a psychopath or narcissist because they feel entitled to your time and attention. Your goal is to completely eliminate any contact and to secure any vulnerability that you mistakenly offered. Change your phone number, block their email, and hire an attorney if necessary. If they have access to your credit card information or bank accounts, make sure that those are secure; cancel the cards or change the account numbers. Change the locks on your house if necessary. All of these are important but by the time you’re in this category, you’re already invested and connected so you’re basically extricating yourself out of the rubble. With time and experience you’re going see that you should’ve never let it go this far.
